If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
