Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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