i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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