yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Randomize
