I CAN MOONWALK!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
