The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
