Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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