Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
