It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
