Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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