IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
