so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
