it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
