it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
