Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So drunk its hurt
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
