Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
