All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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