That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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