super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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