sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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