hotel room ftw
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
