i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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