don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
