Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
