I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
