The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
