Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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