Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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