She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
