So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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