Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
