a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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