new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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