Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
