The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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