You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You are the jesus of drinking
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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