Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
