if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
