its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
