life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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