btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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