I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
