insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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