First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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