Its about making memories worth repressing
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
