Its about making memories worth repressing
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
