My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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