How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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