Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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