she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
